The Things I Wish I Could Tell You
by kitteninthesky12
Summary: A short oneshot. My take on a scene in season 4 episode 15 "Food for Thought". All the things Maura wishes she could explain to Frankie, but can't. Rizzles is heartily implied.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the show. If I did it would be so much gayer...**

**A/N: This is just a short drabble I wrote because I've sort of hit a block with my Mirandy fic. Dialogue is from the scene in "Food for Thought" when Frankie decides to talk to Maura and Maura sort of lets him down gently. When I saw this scene for the first time this is basically what ran through my head. Love and appreciation to my beta ryaninthesky**

The conversation was altogether uncomfortable. Maura, never one to profess a particular acuity when it came to spotting emotions, could tell that things were about to get awkward when Frankie knocked at her open door to signal his presence.

"Hey." He said as he lumbered into the room.

She smiled at him, saying "Frankie." A bit breathlessly, unsure of what tone to take or what to say. What could she say, really? She was still reeling from the embarrassment of the suspicious package incident. They continued to smile at one another and laugh to fill the uneasy gap in conversation.

"Um, would you like to try the coffee?" Maura tried, at a loss. Choosing to rely on instinctive politeness to mask her uncertainty and discomfort with the emotionally charged situation.

"Sure." He replied with an easy smile. Maura put her laptop down and joined Frankie by her newly arranged coffee station.

"I feel a little ridiculous." She admitted opting for honesty. She wasn't a very good liar anyway, and there wasn't really anything to lie about or try to hide. He had been there with her, he had experienced the mutual fear that they could be taking their last breaths.

"Why? You shouldn't. Everything about that box was suspicious. It could have easily been a bomb." Frankie tried to reassure her. But Maura felt a bit ridiculous for another reason too. She saw in Frankie what she had seen in many others before. He had a crush and she knew it.

"Yeah, but it wasn't." She responded intently. "You know sometimes we think that something is more than it is." She continued, deciding to take the plunge. She looked at him meaningfully, hoping he would take the hint, that he would understand. She wanted him to realise that they could never work, that they were practically siblings, that he was just experiencing the after affects of having been in a life-threatening situation with someone he cared for. She saw the moment the pieces clicked into place and discernment washed over him.

He scoffed and said, "Yeah, I don't really have time for coffee. Thanks though."

"Just wanted to make sure you were ok. I'll see you around." He stammered as he beat a hasty retreat.

Maura just gazed after him, her face awash with the words she couldn't say. She didn't go after him and she didn't want to. What she did want was to tell him why, explain to him why she was doing her best to let him down gently. She wanted to tell him how she was in love with his sister and that Jane was in love with her as well. She wanted to tell him about all the excuses they made for why why couldn't be together. Jane's excuses that she wasn't gay and that work relationships are just plain bad news. And Maura's reminders about Casey, her fear of being hurt again, her fear of losing the best friend she's ever had. But despite all of the excuses they always seemed to end up back in each others arms. For her part, Maura was starting to tire of resisting the obvious pull between them. This hurt much more than just admitting what they felt for each other. If she could say all of this then surely Frankie would understand why he would always be like a little brother to her. It would make sense to him why they could never be more than they are. It would all be so simple. It's doubtful anyone would be truly surprised. But Maura knows this admission will never come. Jane and Maura can hardly admit their feelings to themselves and one another, much less the rest of the world. No, Frankie would never be given the benefit of this knowledge and he might not ever understand.


End file.
